What a fucking waste of an outfit
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
