filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Can I color on your dick again?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
