Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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