I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Randomize
