Cold hands, warm shart.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
