my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
