I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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