ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
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