Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
How does one acquire holy water?
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
