That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
