I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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