Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
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