Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
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