I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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