garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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