sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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