I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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