she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
