I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I forgot how hot balto sounded
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize