You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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