Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
