The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
