dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
