grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
