Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize