OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
