You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
