forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
