I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Randomize
