I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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