Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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