My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
