I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
