U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
