mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
