I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
do nipples grow back?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
