is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Randomize
