I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize