I'm lost and stupid without you.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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