so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
