my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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