I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
