There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I want to have your abortion
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize