Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
