Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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