I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize