We're like a lot better than the average bears
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
