i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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