I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
