my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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