The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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