I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
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