Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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