It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
