hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
