Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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