Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
