I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
