His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
