i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
