Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
