party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
