You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
