Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
