Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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