If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
