Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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